


Uncertain

by herald_of_wisdom



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 18:43:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18697129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herald_of_wisdom/pseuds/herald_of_wisdom





	Uncertain

There are a lot of things that Newt isn’t sure about.

Why he exists, why his brain can’t just cooperate instead of going off on a thousand tangents, why the Kaiju decided on Earth to attack, why Hermann loves numbers so much, why Hermann fascinates him, why Hermann has that cane, why he uses blackboards when he has his cool rockstar hologram thing, what he did to make Hermann not like him…

Ok, on further reflection, maybe most of the things he’s not sure about involve Hermann in some way. Not that he’d ever admit it to the man. He’d probably take it the wrong way, just like every other thing Newt said.

Every. Single. Thing.

And, ok, so maybe not everyone wanted to hear about Kaiju biology, but that didn’t mean that Newt wanted them to win, he just though they were awesome. From an academic standpoint. But no one seemed to get that, and ok, maybe the tattoos were a little overboard, but they were just so damn cool and the artist had done such a good job.

But, like. Everyone ever in his entire life had told him what he was doing wrong, and it hadn’t ever bothered him before. But when it was Hermann, it mattered. Hermann’s opinion mattered, but Newt never could do anything right.

 

There are a lot of things Hermann isn’t sure about.

Why the universe hates him enough to drop a Shatterdome on him not even a year into joining the PPDC, which means he has to code the Mark Is from a hospital bed and then relearn how to walk, why it continues to hate him by putting him in a lab with Newton Geizler, why the man, who has six doctorates, cannot seem to figure out that no, it is not ok to leave Kaiju bits strewn all over the floor, why he puts up with Newton, when Newton became Newton, why he cares when the biologist doesn’t seem to be getting enough sleep, why he always ends up snapping at the man when he is genuinely concerned.

Well. The man was infuriating, messing up Hermann’s perfectly formed view of the world, his solitary existence. After all, no one cared about a stuck-up scientist with a cane, and he’d come to terms with that years ago. But Newton seemed to care, and that alone was enough to endear him to Hermann, even if he’d never yet managed to find the words to express it.

Surely Newton knew him well enough after years of sharing a lab, though. Surely he’d figured out that Hermann certainly didn’t hate him; indeed, quite the opposite.

They drift. Newt sees Hermann’s mind, and it is beautiful, orderly and logical and no, not perfect, but so reassuring, so deeply Hermann. He feels his pain, a constant companion, and wishes he could make it go away, but knows he can’t and settles for deciding that he’ll stick around to help as he can.

Then he sees himself, and can hardly believe it. Hermann…cares about him, even after all the chaotic nonsense that he now knows is just wrong to Hermann’s mind? Doesn’t hate him?

 

They drift. Hermann can hardly follow the chaotic currents of Newton’s mind, but somehow it’s calming, compared to the rigidity that his own thoughts have forced upon him for as long as he can remember. He feels the pain of the highs and the lows, and hopes that maybe he can help, now he knows.

Then he sees himself, and can hardly believe it. Newt looks at him, his broken, battered self, rigidly standoffish self, and actually likes him? Possibly…more?

 

Everyone who sees them after they drift, standing close together, occasionally touching, can only think ‘finally’.


End file.
